Learning Lao has not been easy. Admittedly, I’ve been key-kahn (lazy) in studying Lao, finding it easier to do a series of grunts and charades than trying to master the six tones and complicated vowel sounds from books like Lao for Beginners. I have picked up important phrases, such as lieu baw sai – “without blood” – or else my noodle soup would come with chunks of pig blood tofu.
Some words have been easier to remember than others. For example, “key” is a versatile word, a building block to form a whole series of other words.
“Key” is the word for poo in Lao.
Infantile? Perhaps. But it’s a well known fact in marketing that hard “k” sounds are memorable and impactful (Kodak, Coca-Cola, Krispy Kreme, Kinkos). Key is used to describe any sort of rubbish. When combined with other words, instead of inventing a whole new word, it very simply and logically describes what it is. So allow me to give you an introductory lesson in Lao. Sesame Street is brought to you today by the word “key.”
key-kahn= lazy
key-doo = naughty
key-nok = bird shit, used to describe someone who is smelly, also an insult, example: falang key-nok
key-koi = buffalo shit. Swear word, very insulting.
key-meo = cat poo, also the nickname for a sweet, crispy Luang Prabang treat made from rice flour and coconut (yeah, they’re shaped like cat turds)
key-hai = very ugly, pronounced key-lai in northern Laos
key-men = smelly poo
key-ma = dog poo
key-mau = a drunkard
key-lak = cheater
key-ngua = rubbish
key-mo = sweet talker
key-kuk = ex-con, someone just out of jail
key-soo = a bluffer
key-tao = armpit B.O., stinky armpits
key-dahng = boogers
key-hu = earwax, literally “ear poo”
key-taa = the stuff in sleepy eyes
key-keo = food on your teeth
key-nee = someone that borrows money and never pays you back
key-tua = liar
hu-key = asshole
key-tao = ash from a fire
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